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Culture of Love & Personal Relationships For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation. (Rainer Maria Rilke) Love is not finding the right person. It is becoming the right person. Sometimes you meet a being to whom you feel immediately attracted. This person is like a vase filled with a precious essence that plunges you into a state of wonder; they inspire you, broaden your horizons and reveal the beauty of heaven and earth to you. Thank the Lord for having met this person, and if you want your joy to last for a long time, try to keep some distance. Why? Because the space between two people, which may appear empty, is actually filled with subtle essences which are the best conductors of psychic energy; it is this space that makes exchanges of harmony and light possible. As long as there is a certain distance between you and the person you love, you can exchange energy, thanks to which you energise each other. Each time you meet, you will leave each other fulfilled, pervaded by an extraordinary happiness because keeping this distance creates the best conditions for communication between you. If you really take this advice and try to apply it, your life will never be short of happy encounters. And because you will know how to appreciate them, you will truly know what love is. (O.M. Aïvanhov) Now people say it is impossible to love everybody, and for most of us it is impossible. There is always something for us to work out, and we are never free really. And we always need the stimulus, and sometimes the contradictions, in another person in order to raise the consciousness. The chakra system very often opens through our relationships. Somebody comes into our life and produces first of all perhaps a stimulus to the base centre [sex chakra], and then very often, unhappiness - which allows us to feel the pain in life. And in feeling that pain, we grow from the experience. We mature into the understanding of other people and the unhappiness that is with them. Everything we have around us is stimulating us to go higher. So, whether our relationship is with man, stones, animals, or nature, it is stimulating us to go beyond, into higher vibratory rates. (Lilla Bek, Relationships and Spiritual Growth, track #1, 9m27s; excerpt) Love the Creator, the One who is the origin of all life, and you will feel him manifesting in every creature. It is he, the One, whom you will love in others, and only he can fulfil the longings of your heart and soul. So many men and women, famous throughout history for their amorous adventures, have had tragic destinies precisely because they did not understand this truth! The beings of flesh and blood you claim to love or to be looking for are only intermediaries, conductors meant to transmit divine energies. If you wish to continue to love them, think of restoring contact every day with the world above. You don’t need to worry about who you will love or who you wish to be loved by. First love God and he will appear to you; he will smile at you and fill you with joy through his creatures. You will love them and be loved by them, because it will be the deity dwelling within them that you will love, and they will also discover the divine life through you. (O.M. Aïvanhov) The Sun brings warmth and light to the beloved flower. It does not seek to possess. (Bruce Mitchell) If instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend, that would be giving as the angels give. (George McDonald) To love someone is not to want to keep them for oneself; it is constantly to seek to give them light and strength, to help them to become more and more conscious of their divine predestination. (O.M. Aïvanhov) Never give away your heart; it belongs to you and no-one has the right to do what they want with it. If you give your heart to someone, you no longer have it. The other person has two hearts, but what will they do with two hearts? They will end up letting go of yours. There is a saying in Bulgaria that you can’t carry two watermelons under one arm. So some time or another the person to whom you have given your heart could drop it. And then you will cry out, ‘My heart is broken!’ And if you go to complain to Heaven, it will say, ‘it is your fault; why did you give it away? You should have kept it for yourself.’ ‘Yes but I love them, I love them.’ Alright, so you love them, but you could have given them your tenderness, your love, your songs, and kept your heart for yourself. And do not be misled into thinking that this warning applies only to the heart. Nature has also given us a body, a mind, a will, and those who are wise will keep these for themselves. They will give away only the fruits, in other words thoughts, feelings, activity and work. (O.M. Aïvanhov) Why is it that the love between men and women does not last? Because, instead of linking each other to the divine Source so that they may be continually renewed, they cling to one another and end up depleted. When nothing is left, they are like empty vessels and they reject each other. So think of the man or the woman you love as a precious and unique being, and realize that it is through you that they can become vibrant, beautiful and rich, provided that you link them to the Source, to the heavenly Father, the divine Mother, to all the angelic hierarchies, to the sun and the stars. Love offers you every possibility. But if, instead of uniting the being you love to heaven, you hang on to them and drain their energy, in time they will go downhill; then your love for them will lessen, and you will suffer. But whose fault is this? You must therefore learn to project this being to great heights so that they can breathe, drink, and nourish themselves. And they must do the same for you. Then, you are no longer merely vessels, you become inexhaustible springs for one another. (O.M. Aïvanhov) The impulse that drives men and women towards each other that we call love can never be fully satisfied on the physical plane, for it is not the physical body that needs to love, but the heart, and beyond that the soul and the spirit. If one looks no further than the physical body, the best one can hope for is some pleasurable emotions and sensations, which soon turn into jealousy, antagonism and hatred. In love, as in many other areas, the body must be seen as an instrument, a means not an end. All those who make no effort to look further than the physical body will remain dissatisfied and, if they are married, their life will be hell, because they will end up only seeing each other’s bad points. Whereas those who have worked to make their love an exchange on the level of the soul and spirit will experience renewed happiness each day. Even as they grow old, they will continue to rediscover each other and rejoice in each other’s company. For it was not the envelope, the vessel or the body that they loved, but what it contained, the spiritual principle born of the one, inexhaustible Source. (O.M. Aïvanhov) You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not. (Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper) You know that very often the only way it [the heart energy centre] can express its love of God is by falling in love with one of His creatures. And yet behind all love affairs God is smiling and saying, “That is how I want to be felt in you.” (Lilla Bek, Links with the Higher Self, track #2, 20m1s; excerpt) A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her. (Maya Angelou) A young boy who is very content with his family, friends and studies, might nevertheless get bored. But one day, he meets a girl who he falls in love with. And so everything changes: the world appears magnificent to him, alive with colour and music. In reality, nothing has changed; he has made an inner discovery: that of love which makes everything beautiful. Even if it rains, to him the sun is shining. But if this girl were to disappoint or betray him, his life would become dull and pointless again. You may say you already know that. Well yes, but what have you learnt from this? For there is something to learn: this teaches you that, to find a taste for life, you must seek an element capable of transforming everything in you, one that no outside event can make you lose. You will not find this element in the love of a man or a woman, for that love is always uncertain. You must seek it very high up in the regions of the soul and the spirit. (O.M. Aïvanhov) Someday someone won’t be afraid of how much you love. They won’t stay on the shore; they’ll meet you in the depths. (Breanna Sipple) Most marriages end in failure and yet, instinctively, subconsciously, each time a man and a woman begin to love each other, they hope that this love will be wonderful, divine, that they have at last found their soulmate, and will taste life to the fullest. From where does this hope spring? From a memory of the distant past, from the knowledge – buried deeply within them – that in the divine world above, the union of the masculine and feminine principles is achieved in the utmost splendour, the greatest plenitude. Men and women fail to find this same fulfilment because they search for each other too low down. True marriage between a man and a woman is the union of their soul and spirit. If they are disappointed, it is because they have not been able to achieve this marriage. Happiness is only possible when they succeed in uniting on high. (O.M. Aïvanhov) The purpose of a love relationship is to set your sights on love, rather than the relationship. The test of every marriage is to come to love love, more than to love the person. That love comes from your heart, the deepest center of your being. Love is a feeling, a radiation of light, a presence. It is not a personality. When you touch upon love, you are touching your soulmate - and soul-marriage - the mystical marriage. It all happens within you, the merging of your soul with your spirit, the merging of who you thought you were with who you really are. In this realm of the heart you then see with the eyes of God. All things and persons are seen for what they are - light-infused and love-permeated. Your husband or wife glows with a beauty that can make you gasp! Can you see this? Can you understand the words of Jesus, "Seek ye first the Kingdom, and all things will be added unto you."? All the prophets and masters say the same thing: when God becomes number one in your life, when the indwelling spirit becomes more important than the who's and what's and where's, your life then becomes a flow of perfection. Then you create beauty in all that you see, hear, touch, or in any way turn your attention upon. Love is never-ending creation. “My heart has become an ocean, beloved,
since You have poured Your love into it.” Hazrat Inayat Khan
(Joyce and
Barry Vissell, The
Shared Heart, pp.16-17)There is such a thing as karmic marriages, and most marriages have karma within them. Just make sure a good job is done. And remember, karma doesn’t have to be painful. You can offer to help other people a lot, or other things. (Adapted from Lilla Bek 17 April 1999 personal reading) Marriage isn’t a ring, or a piece of paper, or how many years you have been together – it is the way you love, honor, and celebrate your partner every single day. Marriage isn’t a noun – it’s a verb. It is a choice you make every single day. (Barbara De Angelis, Making Love Work, Personal Guidebook, p.56) Love is a big magnifying glass – it magnifies or brings out your old emotional wounds and baggage that you may not notice until you get into a relationship. (Barbara De Angelis, Making Love Work, Personal Guidebook, p.49) Love brings up everything unlike itself for the purpose of healing. (Sondra Ray) Vulnerability applied to love is to love with your whole heart, even though there is no guarantee. (See Brené Brown, 19m16s, posted 3 January 2011, accessed 5 July 2020; also see here) As Perel [psychotherapist Esther Perel] points out: “We come to one person, and we are basically asking them to give us what once an entire village used to provide.” We want security, companionship, perhaps children, a best friend, a trusted confidante, a red-hot lover and someone to help us fulfil our daily domestic tasks. This is, probably, an unfair expectation of any single person. Put too many eggs in the long-term partner basket and cracks are going to show, if not yolk and leaking albumen. So don’t be afraid to look outside your relationship for other connections. It is not a criticism of your romantic relationship to go on holiday, share childcare, work, go to dinner, play football and watch films with other people. And, whether it’s a hobby, a shed or a separate bed, don’t be afraid to carve out a private sphere within your relationship. (Nell Frizzell, The Guardian, posted and accessed 14 February 2022) You meet a magnificent being whom you like and wish to know better. Instead of trying at any cost to get closer to them on the physical plane, learn to listen to the vibrations of their voice, to perceive the light in their eyes, to rejoice in the harmony of their gestures. In this way, you will gradually form a relationship with all that is the most subtle and divine in them, and experience new and indescribable sensations. In the same way, you will also discover that the men and women you have tended to look down on or ignore because of their unassuming appearance, are actually exceptional beings who have far more to offer you than other people who are seemingly more interesting or attractive. (O.M. Aïvanhov) When you pick a partner, you pick a story. So what kind of story are you going to write? (Esther Perel) Last December I saw an advertisement outside an electronics store. There was a little boy, delirious with delight, surrounded by computers, stereos, and other gadgets. The text read: “We know what your child wants for Christmas.” I stared at the poster, then said to no one in particular, “What your child wants for Christmas is your love, but if he can’t get that, he’ll settle for a bunch of electronic crap.” (Derrick Jensen, A Language Older Than Words, 2000) |
Also see:- Culture of Love Cosmic Love |
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