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Do Not Feed the Model
Baby enjoys watermelon
Horse enjoys food
| Eating Disorders
Our attitude to food often reflects our relationship with Love.
First, let us look at how nature and evolution has designed the body (Blame My Brain book by Nicola Morgan, pp.128-132). Adolescent girls and boys are opposites.
The adolescent girl starts to look like a fully grown woman well before she is fully fertile. She is only fully fertile at age 19, in all cultures worldwide and in the past.
The adolescent boy is fully fertile before he looks like a fully-grown man. His muscles and skeleton do not bulk up until age 18 at least. So he looks relatively boy-like.
These adaptations allow the older members of the tribe to teach and support the younger ones without feeling like there is a conflict over mates. Adult males see the young males as weedy and the adult females know the young females are not fully fertile. This is all non-threatening and encourages co-operation. I see this as the Way of Love.
In many other mammal groups, older males will fight/kill the younger males, and older women will suppress/exclude the younger females. But in those groups it is not a big deal, as adolescence is short and there is less to learn.
In modern human society (alongside the societal factors outlined below), the early, rapid, outward growth of the female body means that some girls think they are getting fat. And so teenage girls (and young girls even) tend to become obsessed with their weight and are vulnerable to eating disorders.
But young females instead need to realise that these changes are about being attractive and womanly. Research using pictures shows that women often think that men are attracted to bodies thinner than the men choose. Evolutionarily, a skinny female body is not attractive to men. And if you eat too little, you risk damaging your long-term health through insufficient nutrients.
So, understand and re-harmonise with the ancient Way of Love!
Second, let us look at how society 'designs' the body and corrupts Nature/Love.
If your relationship with Love has been traumatised as with childhood abuse, or by a dysfunctional society that only celebrates ultra-thin role models for beauty - then your relationship with Love has been damaged. This is attachment trauma.
At a society level, this attachment trauma reflects a patriarchal culture that seeks to control women. Your society only loves you if you are thin, immature and vulnerable. As opposed to fully woman, adult and empowered.
Consider model Sara Ziff (BBC, posted and accessed 29 November 2012):
'A 13-year-old girl can be naturally skinny, like a beanpole, in a way that a grown woman, who has hips and breasts, generally can't - and shouldn't aspire to be. And I think we need to ask ourselves why that's become the ideal. Why do we have this perverse fascination with images of such young girls who are so small and inexperienced and really quite vulnerable? There's a Peter Pan syndrome in fashion. As soon as we start to get older and show signs of maturity, we're told to go on an extreme diet, a lot of the time, or we're discarded and replaced by a younger model. The models never grow up. And that sends a message to women - we're not allowed to grow up.'
Thus you are only loved by society if not grown up = eating disorders to be not grown up.
This is a long and ongoing battle, to create an equal/fair society. The best you can do is realise that you are up against these powerful forces. Then practise Self-Love, become fully woman (e.g. explore goddesses), and become active in campaigning for change (even if only by petition signing).
At a family level, this attachment trauma need not be how many think of childhood abuse. It can arise from unloving parenting and societal techniques like hospital birth, sleep training or the unnatural system of schools. So, society can challenge eating disorders by reverting to the ways of Natural Family Living, Attachment Parenting, Natural Education.
At a personal level, if you have an eating disorder, you need to acknowledge that you do.
It may be wise to share this with caring people that can support you.
Then you need to practise Self-Love.
And you need to learn to love and enjoy food.
"You’re supposed to enjoy food...", says ex-anorexic Rebecca Hills (BBC, 2m28s, posted and accessed 10 February 2019).
The ability to enjoy your food is probably the most important 'diet' you need.
O.M. Aïvanhov talks of The Yoga of Nutrition where our attitude to nutrition is far more important than what we eat or how much we eat.
You need to bring a sacred, thankful, joyful and compassionate attitude to food:-
Rather than automatically always watching TV or some other screen while you eat?
Some may say that their eating disorder is due to enjoying their food too much!
Then you may need to understand the 'Animal' in us and how evolution has created us.
This is explained in more depth in both The Conflict between Evolutionary Skills & Modern Life and Overweight.
If you cannot yet love yourself or cannot enjoy food, then you are still in the process of healing yourself. This is okay. Keep going.
Be patient and compassionate on your journey...