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Outer Game Outer Game refers to tricks, techniques and processes used in Dating and Intimate Relationships. Some of these - like learning pick-up lines - can often feel corny and weak. This is why Inner Game is far more important. However, some aspects of Outer Game are very helpful, like... 'Evolutionary' Outer Game This is about following the courtship ritual. All animals follow a mating script and humans are no exception. According to David DeAngelo, a prominent dating expert, women can verbalise all these steps if asked, but men generally have no idea they even exist! Men don't understand these steps are usually required to progress the courtship. In his eBook Bridges, he lists them as:
Outer Game for Men How to Use Outer Game Authentically AMP email:
"I love outer game stuff [rehearsed openers, lines, routines, etc.] -
it's a great way to spice up an interaction with storytelling,
role-playing, banter, etc... My take on the "outer game pickup stuff"
is that you should feel free to use outer game techniques, on one
condition: YOU ENJOY THEM, FOR THEIR OWN SAKE. In other words, if
you're using these techniques "in order to" get her to respond in a
certain way (make her attracted to you, make her feel safe with you),
then my experience is that the interaction will feel slightly "off,"
because you're trying to "make something happen," you're attempting to
control or force the interaction. But if you truly enjoy those
techniques, and you aren't attached to how she responds to you, then
you could tell the same stories... use the same lines... and have it
feel great for both of you. If that's the case, knock yourself out!"
Small Offers One key outer game method connected to this process-orientation of women is Small Offers. Men need to learn this simple skill!! Susan Bratton (Personal Life Media, posted 11 December 2011, accessed 15 March 2013) explains:
"Think of yourself as a sensual waiter with a very rich menu of sexy
ideas from which your gal can select. She might want a little snack.
Perhaps a breast massage with organic oil? Or to sit on your lap and
have you kiss her and stroke her hair, her back, her thighs. She might
want a little something more...
Seldom does a woman really want an offer of full out sexual intercourse. That's too much too soon. We need to be warmed up before lovemaking sounds good to us. You'll have a LOT more sex if instead, you run her these menus of options, likely starting even smaller than these ides with a sensual massage, a bath together, a back or foot rub. (I know you get tired of foot-rubs but they get her in her body so you can escalate, so do it lovingly and with all the sensuality you can muster remembering we're a slow fire that needs tending to get white hot.) The more SMALL OFFERS you make her, ultimately the more sex you'll have. If she turns your offers down, scale them back, don't take it as rejection, just try again. Remember: There is no failure, only feedback..."
Small offers feed love
Outer Game Resources for Men For education in outer game, there are many possibilities. Beware of misogynists like Andrew Tate and certain dating websites/gurus. Violence, abuse and control is NOT the way. David DeAngelo (see below) explains that jerks do attract hot women - but there is a way to attract hot women without mistreating people, without being mean to them, without lying, without being misleading, without being abusive, etc. Outer games traits that he identifies, which instinctively attract women, but which abusive jerks take way too far include: Unpredictable, Uncontrollable, Challenging, Dominant (not domineering). Women will rationalize and excuse the abusive behaviour of jerks like Tate because they are so attracted to these personality traits and behaviours. So, choose DeAngelo, not Tate! Some Outer Game resources that I have found useful for men are:- David DeAngelo - subscribing to his email list brings much free advice. Some of his advice:-
Carlos Xuma - slick dating tips and programs. Marni - Your Personal Wing Girl - offers many free YouTube videos. Similar to David DeAngelo's 'Cocky Comedy' is her flip method. Personal Life Media (tons of free articles, audio). They also offer brilliant programs like Seduction Trilogy and Revive Her Drive. Some tips include:-
Outer Game for Women Outer Game Resources for Women Untried, untested:- Her Aspiration - Dating Tips for Women without the Fluff. As seen on Buzzfeed, Lifehack, wikiHow. Summary Susan Bratton says (Personal Life Media, posted 1 January 2014, accessed 4 January 2014): "People
don’t really get GOOD at sex until their 50s or 60s and you can
have a hot sex life until the day you pass on. Sex is one of the most
nurturing and healthy experiences you can have. So notice yourself
becoming more confident and orgasmic as you move toward co-created
bliss together."
It would be great if humans could start becoming great at sex and authentic relating much younger than this! It would prevent a lot of violent and abusive behaviour by sexually frustrated men. When men learn how to interact with women without coercion, money or violence, I am confident that the 1 in 3 women currently having to endure physical or sexual violence will hugely be reduced. These simple skills of outer game and inner game are something the world desperately needs. They are far more important than technology, or what schools teach, or university. Let's make sure men everywhere can access this information preferably for free. After all, this is for World Peace...
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Also see:- Inner Game Sexual Consent & Harassment Sex articles Relationships articles Love articles |
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